Growing up, my family and I went to church some, but I never liked going.

I was drifted away. By Kaylee Nicolas.

Early into high school, I decided that I didn’t want anything to do with God.  That all changed in the summer before my freshman year of college when I had a friend who I thought would commit suicide one night.  When I realized I couldn’t help her, I became desperate and I told my mother (who is a Christian) about the situation.  She told me to pray because only God could help her.  I had a hard time asking for God’s help because I knew that I had offended Him with my lifestyle.  My friend never committed suicide, but God made it clear that night that I need a relationship with Him. 


After all of this, I decided I would find out more about God and started going to church.  There I met Christians who seemed to have the connection with God I longed for.  They told me that the Bible is God’s message to us, so I began to study it.  I learned how it says that God created man to follow his plan and have a perfect relationship with him. However, he gave us a choice to follow His plan or ours.  We chose ours by disobeying him (or, “sinning”).  Sin separates us from Him (Isaiah 59:2).  Thankfully, God still loves us and came to earth as Jesus, who died to take away our sins.  He promises that we can have a relationship with God only through faith in him.  This means that relationship with Him “is a gift from God, not from [good deeds]” (Ephesians 2:8-9).   I didn’t want to accept this truth.  I tried my hardest for months to do good things to earn the right to know God, but I failed every time.  One day in church, I tried to sing a song of worship to please God.  However, my voice sounded awful and I felt I was failing.  Then, as if God came down and touched me, I had a sudden understanding that He didn’t care what I could do for Him.  He loved me anyway. Then He told me to stop fighting Him and follow Jesus.  That day I confessed to God that I was a sinner and that I couldn’t save myself.  I asked Jesus to come into my life so that I could start living for him. 



Ever since I asked Jesus to take control of my life, my eyes have been opened and I recognize His presence everywhere.  Every day, God gives me the power to turn away from my sin.  I’m not perfect, but I am now a radically different person.  I don’t trust in my own efforts anymore because I know that God will take care of me.  I just trust in Jesus and tell others about Him because of all the joy He’s given me. 

Kaylee Nicolas

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